Dear Nikolas…

You started 1st Grade a few weeks ago. You’re now 6 years old and as I write this post I can’t help but wonder where did the years go. I can barely remember. I am not one of those moms who write down every single thing their kids do. I sometime wish I did – so I can look back and try to bring those memories to life. Instead, I am the kind of mother that worries day and night about almost everything but mainly whether I am raising you the right way.

This past weekend we spent a few days with our church friends in WI and you enjoyed so much being able to hang out with your buddies. It brings me such joy to see you love life and enjoy each and every moment of it! You’re a blessing, Nikolas!

I often am too busy to see that each day goes by and you grow a little more. That makes me sad! I started my business because of you – so that I can be home and spend time with you. Yet I find it ironic how it consumes me and how little time I find to be with you.  I constantly struggle with feeling guilty of working too much, yet most of the time, it’s something I can’t control. Sounds complicated, doesn’t it? I am still learning how to balance work and motherhood.

The other day your daddy and I were talking about how our family is not necessarily the “typical” family in that we both work full time while raising you. We have no help in doing that (given that our families live far away) yet by God’s grace we’ve managed. Your father is such an amazing man, Nikolas! I want you to grow knowing that! I don’t know how we could make it without him. I know I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without him.

This post might be a bit much but I wanted to put all my thoughts down so that may be one day you can read them all and understand how it feels raising you, sweet boy!

Wishing you a wonderful school year, Nikolas!

xoxo

Mama

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